I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
