It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
