I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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