You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
