what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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