Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
