then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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