I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize