she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
