I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
