quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
