Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
