Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
