did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
