just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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