either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
