dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I could fuck to npr.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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