1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
