I didn't shave. On purpose
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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