i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
