So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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