I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize