I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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