who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
