I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
