8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize
