I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
