I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
