it wasn't lemon gatorade
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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