how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize