Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
