Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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