I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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