God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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