arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
