so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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