I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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