you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize