Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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