I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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