I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
