So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
