hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I skipped work to stalk him.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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