We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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