I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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