theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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