fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize