end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
