So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
