would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
