you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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