My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
