yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am midnight drunk by noon
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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