I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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