used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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