Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
