ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
