He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
