Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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