i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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