I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize