you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i love accidental penises.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
