one might say we're banned from that church
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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