there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
