I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
